Day Fifteen:

Thou shalt not lie - but I do

Every few days, a caring support lady rings to ask if I have developed symptoms of Covid-19.  This is a necessary precaution as I’m locked down and my family, right across the city, are similarly isolated.   No one to keep an eye on the old codger then - except my young support lady.

I am normally a truthful person and she’s doing a magnificent job so it pains me to have to lie to her.  But there’s a good reason.

I hear the echo of my mother’s voice saying, ‘There is NEVER a good reason to lie.’

This, as she glibly told numerous  ‘white lies’ whenever she deemed them necessary.

So after the normal greetings, I gird up my loins to tell white lies and

our conversation goes like this:

‘Have you been coughing?’

‘No.’ 

I’m lying.

According to Australian Ear, Nose & Throat surgeon,  Dr John Rubin, the lack of lubrication as we age, irritates the throat, causing us to cough and clear our throats more often.  I do that all the time.

‘Have you been sneezing?’

‘No.‘ 

Again the untruth.

I  sneeze  a lot.  About 5 or 6 times every morning, as did my mother when she got to her 70’s. 

It’s thought our nasal passages cannot cope with allergens as they did when we were younger and this is the body’s way of expelling them.

‘Do you have a runny nose, itchy or streaming eyes?’

‘No.’ 

 Like many people over 60,  I’ve been suffering from allergic rhinitis for over a decade.  When it first began I consulted my doctor.

 She told me little  can be done.

 Allergy specialist Stephen Foster at Kent and Medway National Health Trust would agree.  He believes  the immune system of older people can be compromised by stress and illness, leaving us less capable of dealing with allergens.

At this stage in our conversation I am inwardly squirming, hating the deception and longing to tell the truth. 

‘Do you have a temperature?’

‘No.’

Finally, this is true and makes me feel marginally better.

‘What about watery eyes?’

‘No.’

Epiphora, or watery eyes has plagued me for well over 12 years. 

For the first 30 minutes of the day, a constant stream of tears are being dabbed away.  Gradually, after 2 or 3 tissues, it slows down and I revert to being my normal,  partially sighted self.

 Rob Hogan, an optometrist at iCare Consulting says it’s caused by age-related narrowing of the tear duct.  Since ducts act as drainage, if they contract, eyes overflow.

‘Have you lost your sense of smell and taste?’

‘No.’

The correct answer to this is, ‘sometimes’. 

Quite often in the early morning, my nose runs so much  it’s impossible to smell anything.  It also runs if I drink hot tea or coffee, or eat a hot meal.  

This has an effect on my taste buds but once the meal is over,  my sense of smell is so acute, I can smell next door’s shower gel as it runs down her drain.

At this point,  I wish I could tell my nice support lady an old but cute joke but ours is a serious conversation with a serious purpose, so I refrain from sharing.

And the reason why I am lying through my teeth?

If I answered a truthful 'Yes' to her questions, her next action has to be a call for an ambulance which, equipped with nice people in white haz-mat suits, would take me away to hospital isolation and tests which I know would be negative.

 

All the symptoms from which I am suffering, pre-date Covid-19 by many years and quite frankly, I’d be wasting precious reserves and time and the energies of already exhausted health workers.  

So I lie.  In a good cause. I’m quite well, I’m just old.

And the cute joke?

‘If your nose runs and your feet smell, you’re built upside down.’