Day Nineteen
Laughter is the best
medicine
A collection of bizarre and interesting things
to brighten your isolation.
A
friend and I have been reminiscing, by phone of course, about the old days.
‘Hey,
do you remember those things we used to keep in the bathroom, I think they were
called toilet rolls?’
Girlfriend: Are you coming over
tonight?
Boyfriend: No, I’m self-isolating
Girlfriend: (in cajoling voice) But
Babe, my parents won’t be home
Boyfriend: Well they should be!!
On
Easter Sunday, the huge statue of Christ the Redeemer which stands
30ft high atop Corcovado Mountain in Rio
de Janeiro, Brazil, was lit up to look
like a doctor and the words "Thank you" in several different
languages, as a tribute to health workers.
Girl: Dad, why did you
call my brother ’Paris’?
Dad: Because your Mum and I were in Paris when he was conceived.
Dad: Because your Mum and I were in Paris when he was conceived.
Girl: Oh, I see, thanks
for explaining.
Dad: No problem, Corona.
'Don't forget Rapunzel was in isolation for years but still managed to meet the man of her dreams.'
'Don't forget Rapunzel was in isolation for years but still managed to meet the man of her dreams.'
Actor Leslie Phillips tell of a letter he received from a
landlady after he’d written to book a
room.
‘Dear
Mr Phillips, I have a very nice front and a very nice back and you can have
which ever you like. The lavatory is outside but you may use the piano.’
Lego encouraged its enthusiasts to make models and upload their
results to the Internet but to their consternation, saw some of the little Lego people had
acquired additions.
Typically, Lego people don’t have what a spokesman called ‘intimate
parts’ which is probably why Lego people look more grumpy these days.
To prevent offence, Lego commissioned special software which
could detect the naughty bits and alert HQ.
Lego is, astonishingly, also used as prosthetic legs for
tortoises.
Brookesia Micra is the smallest chameleon species on earth. Here it’s seen on a match head.
Trump, the man whose name actually means ‘fart’ (if you come
from the North of England you already know this) is an award winning actor.
He appeared in ‘Ghosts Can’t do It.’
Neither could he apparently, the award was a Razzie (Golden Raspberry) for Worst
Supporting Actor.
It’s very easy to mis-hear things:
What are your intentions? Can also be, ‘What are urine tensions?’
The Sound of Music, one of the most loved musicals of all
time, was banned in China as being ‘capitalist pornography’ - the reason? The song, ‘The Hills are Alive’ was deemed to
be about Maria’s breasts. It obviously gained something in translation.
Jing Mei decided she would like a very special wedding dress when she married fiance Jian in 2014.
The train would be 3 miles long.
It weighed 120lb and took 40 bridesmaid's to hold it.
When questioned by a reported, Jian, a man who clearly started as he meant to go on said, 'It's her day, what she says, goes.'
Jing Mei decided she would like a very special wedding dress when she married fiance Jian in 2014.
The train would be 3 miles long.
It weighed 120lb and took 40 bridesmaid's to hold it.
When questioned by a reported, Jian, a man who clearly started as he meant to go on said, 'It's her day, what she says, goes.'
It was a Victorian custom and prevailed well into the 1940’s,
for fathers to arrange to have their daughters' teeth extracted prior to marriage.
The teeth were then presented to the groom as a gift.
As tooth hygiene was not particularly good in those days,
many people had gum disease and extensive decay by the time they reached marriageable
age.
This strange tradition was ostensibly to prevent costly dental treatment
later but I’m sure the idea of kissing someone with a mouth full of decaying
teeth didn’t appeal either.
I could not discover if the same fate was forced upon the
groom.
Students at Trinity College, Cambridge were prevented, by an
ancient law, from taking their babies
into college.
So the college re-defined babies as cats.
Lord Byron, outraged that Trinity would not allow him to keep
a dog in his rooms, carefully perused the documentation - then bought a bear.
The rules did not forbid bears.
Doug and Sam, a couple of hunters, are out in the wilderness when Sam suddenly
falls to the ground.
Doug rushes to help him but can see no injuries.
In panic, he rings the emergency services, ‘Help, help, my
buddy’s dead, my buddy’s dead!’
The soothing voice at the other end says, ‘First of all sir,
be calm. I need you to make sure your friend is
actually dead.’
The operator holds on, hears a shot then Doug says, ‘Okay, now
what?’
