The Aztecs were spiritual people and among
their pantheon of deities was
the goddess Mayahuel who gave birth to 400
rabbits which she fed exclusively on fermented agave juice known as pulque.
Most farmers know the damage even 40
completely teetotal rabbits can do, so with 400 riotously inebriated bunnies
doing what they do best, the Aztecs had something of an agricultural challenge
on their hands.
Sensibly they issued the Aztec people with an
order: they were not to emulate the sacred rabbits but keep strictly to a
maximum of 4 cups of pulque.
I'm unsure about the size of these cups but
judging by the actions of Quetzalcoatl, of whom more later, they were not the
delicate and rose patterned little vessels your granny used for her Orange
Pekoe.
Taking a 5th cup would,
therefore put them over the limit and could
result in Dire Consequences.
Sensible Aztec leaders may initially have
tried to control the rabbits but old rabbits
habits die hard, as today’s Diet Police have learned and animals tipsy from birth were unlikely to conform.
Chances are they showed a scut, uttered a
bawdy Leporidean insult and scampered away for another go at the pulque.
And why am I telling you all this?
Because once Aztec elders gained the age of
70 years, they were allowed to drink as much pulque as they liked, proving that
in this ancient civilisation there was joy in getting old.
Unlimited grog was a reward for long-term
Service to the Community but there were still guidelines. If they intended going for that 5th
cup, they had to be accompanied by a designated Abstemious Person, often a grand-child.
These guardians had to make sure that when
elders were in their cups they did not fall into a ravine, set fire to
themselves and most of all, become uncovered.
Aztec Admin had good reason to worry on this
score.
A once revered leader of the Tula people, Quetzalcoatl,
was tricked in some nefarious way, into
taking that vital 5th cup of pulque after which he stumbled, pie-eyed into the street where he threw off
his clothing and collapsed, showing all he possessed to an outraged world.
On sobering, he was so ashamed of this wild
and uncharacteristic nudity that he raced to the sea and set fire to himself.
We might speculate at this rather drastic
and somewhat contradictory remedy, but he was still a bit confused and one can
understand his feelings, especially if he had been a little boastful when
charming the ladies and his naked and unadorned version showed otherwise.
Fortunately he was reborn as the Morning
Star, Tlāhuizcalpantecuhtli, although I can't help feeling having 'pant'
in the middle of his new name was just a little cruel on someone's part.
So are we not fortunate
that in our elder years, we moderns can,
on any day or night, drink as much pulque as we wish, have endless fun staggering
comically about with our friends and throw off our garments with abandon, without
ever feeling compelled to rush to the nearest ocean and immolate ourselves?
There are, in my opinion
quite a lot of advantages in being older and some of it is even funny.
We know stuff.
Reader, let us assume you are approximately
the same age as myself which currently amounts to something a little over 27,795.43 days.
Given that we learn something every day, that's a heck of a lot of knowledge, a veritable storehouse of information.
It doesn't have to be an erudite or important
thing, in fact if might only be that we can't get out of the chair without
making a rude noise and even ruder smell but it all adds to our undisputed
wisdom.
