Day Twenty Four

A picture is worth 1,000 words.

So I’ll try to keep the word count down.

With the generous permission of artist Morgan Penn, I am able to use this wonderful painting, which seems to perfectly capture reaction to what’s happening in our world right now.

 Art is so important to our spirits and whether you are looking at paintings, ceramics or sculpture, it can remind you of the human strength and love needed to make beautiful things...even during dark times such as this.   

Please go look at Morgan's paintings, so many of which remind us of what we can look forward to when all this chaos is over.

 Family, friendships and enjoyment of the wider world.   http://www.morganpenn.com

This month, some of us were able to see the Super Moon as it came as close to the Earth as  ever it gets.  It looks almost as if we could leap and touch it.

Astronomers call this the perigee but in different parts of the world, the Full Moon has more evocative names.

America’s First Peoples  called it Fish Moon, The Sprouting Grass Moon and the Egg Moon, as these reflected what was happening in nature at the time. The Pink Moon referred to the time that Pink Phlox was in bloom.

In Maori mythology, we read about Rona the Lady in the Moon. She was on her way to fetch water when the moon went behind a cloud, causing her to trip over the roots of a Ngaio tree. 

Picking herself up, she used a few uncomplimentary words and the moon, hearing this, snatched her up and would not let her go.

The picture is from  a 1935 stamp in the Alexander Turnbull Museum.

Many year ago, when I used to go fishing, we stuck closely to the Maori Fishing calendar which advised when, where and how to fish.  

He would call me when an especially dark, Tangaroa-kiokio night was due, usually towards the end of a month.

We would go out to sea and sit in blessed, peaceful silence as the tide turned and the fish began to bite. 

We always returned the first catch to Tangaroa, Maori god of the sea.  We took only what we could comfortably eat, throwing all other fish back.

To sit in a small boat (it was big enough only for two), in the middle of a still ocean and watch the sun rise majestically from the water, is an experience not to be missed.   It is no wonder ancient people worshipped the sun as it daily brought the world back to life after hours of darkness.

That’s a reminder that after our Tangaroa night of Covid-19, dawn will return.

There you go,  less than 500 words and 4 lovely pictures. 

Day Twenty Three

In fact, it’s Day Thirty for me.
I was already locked down with a sick friend before Level 4 was declared but when it was announced, we had to scurry back to our nests.

Isolation isn’t easy. 

Such a drastic change from normal routine is stressful for any human, even those who, like me, enjoy their own company.

Richard S Lazarus , Professor Emeritus at the University of California, defined stress as,

‘a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that the demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilise.’  

Of course he’d put it like that, he’s a Professor !   

A simpler explanation of stress is 'when  we feel we are no longer in total control of our lives.'    And who does at the moment? 

This can apply to any life-change, even the mostly good ones such as getting married, graduating, getting a new job,  or moving to a new house.

When the changes are negative and against our will, the stress moves up a notch. 

When we see the world as we know it, spiralling into sickness and death,  then,  as during war it can strain us to our maximum capacity.

This is why I began writing this Blog. Not because I am relentlessly cheerful or wilfully ignoring what’s going on around me,  far from it.  

It affects me deeply and that is why I  knew I would need a way of coming to terms with a world turned upside down.

 Writing has always been my way of coping and the diary I’ve written for over 40 years has been my safety valve, confidant and companion.

It is very different from this Blog. 

The purpose of The Lockdown Diaries is to remind myself and those who care to read it, that there are still useful and positive things to do,  even when surrounded by  immense human misery.

It’s at these times we need to remember the good stuff.  

 I’ve heard a lot about the human spirit triumphing as it did in World War Two;  about people helping people and giving selflessly.

Yorkshire born, Captain Tom Moore has become the embodiment of this spirit as he walks round his English garden raising millions for the British Health Service.

 As he continues towards his 100^th birthday, bravely using his walker as support, we can choose to wonder why it’s necessary for a courageous old soldier to prop up an under-funded service  - or we can applaud his determination and optimism.

I choose to applaud.   

   

  Covid-19 may be ever-present but if we dwell exclusively on the horror, we lose sight of the hope.

Day Twenty Two

Now Listen here!

Having so much time at home has meant (apart from incipient madness) the leisure to explore what my newly acquired Google Mini, voice-operated artificial intelligence unit, can do.

Getting up at 5am glue-eyed and still brain grogged, all I have to say is, ‘Hey Google, what time is it?’  (as if it mattered when I’m locked down!) and it tells me.  

It’s a reflex action to say ‘thank you’  and I don’t want to lower  my standards even when talking to a machine. It tells me I’m very welcome; a little touch of polite humanity.

For those with access to transport and a social life, in normal times it can advise on bus timetables, taxis, the nearest Thai restaurant (and indeed any eatery or pub); garages, cinemas (including what’s playing there) festivals and workshops in any part of the world.

It’s also a fount of all knowledge on history, spelling, cookery (want to make a chocolate gateau?) and even palaeontology.  If you can find it on the Internet the Mini can tell you.

It can do so many things which no longer impact on my life and as I’m not a music fan, its almost infinite range of songs and bands to play is lost on me.

Neither am I interested in news and politics, though if I were, it could take me to hundreds of different radio stations around the world to listen in a multiplicity of languages.

However, the radio station I prefer and which used to be one of the few things I missed about England before Auntie Beeb went digital,  is BBC Radio 4.  

You don't need a Mini to listen, anyone with a PC, iPad or laptop can access this excellent spoken-word station which rarely plays music except within a quiz such as ‘Counterpoint’, now in its 23^rd Series and hosted by Paul Gambaccini, seen right. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00704s1

There’s a little movie music on the hilarious ‘Gaby’s Talking Pictures’ quiz where the contestants and audience have so much fun, I seriously wondered if free booze or wacky baccy had been provided.  Gaby Roslin is the host and you can find the show here:   https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0b9109v  

Stories and drama occur every day and I’ve just finished listening to, ‘Adventures in Human Being’ by Dr Gavin Francis, beautifully read by Scottish actor, Bill Paterson.  

Francis studied medicine at Edinburgh University before setting off on a tour which included all five continents - he’s even worked in the Antarctic.  https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05xj1qd

Ever wondered if Cannabidiol (CBD), is really the panacea it’s advertised to be? Or if caffeine shampoos can thicken or save your hair? ‘The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread’ looks into products and discussed their efficacy with experts.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0002c3c/episodes/guide

Of course if you want music,  there’s everything from ancient folk songs through  classical, C&W and rock here:     https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds

If, like me, you are in total isolation and miss the human voice, explore the infinite variety of the BBC, podcasts and live programmes, available 24 hours a day and completely free.  

Day Twenty One

Who was that masked man?

Those of us who grew up in the first half of the 20^th century will be familiar with this question,  asked by those who watched The Lone Ranger ride away after doing his good deeds.

Today, the masked personnel doing good deeds are in our healthcare system and today the question is: ‘Who wants a mask, man?’

Or ‘Do I need a mask to prevent the spread of Covid-19?’

No one seems to have the definitive answer.

YES! Say those working with suspected and confirmed C-19 cases.

YES! Say those who deplore the lack of enough Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) including masks,  available to care workers

YES! Says the public as they face the outside world, or those who come into contact with it.

NO! Says the Ministries of Health in many parts of the world, including New Zealand, the UK and the USA - although as I write, that position, possibly due to massive public outcry, is changing.

So why are masks such a contentious issue?

Corona is a droplet infection;  it’s carried on the breath, so the coughs and especially sneezes, which can travel 25ft (7.62 metres,  far further than our social distancing),

are serious dangers.

Patti Wood, author of Success Signals: Understanding Body Language says a single sneeze can send 100,000 germs into the air.

That’s the air you may breathe in if you are in the vicinity of a C-19 infected person. The air anyone around you is free to breathe in if you cough or sneeze.

This is not intended to alarm you, only to point out that the Ministries of Health have known these truths for decades, so why are they saying ‘no’?

Partly because it’s been shown that the ordinary cloth masks, the disposable ones we once used to buy from the pharmacy, are not 100% effective in controlling the breath cloud and therefore the germs. Bits of breath blow out the sides into the air.

Only close fitting surgical masks have a higher rate of protection and most of us don’t have access to them.

Then there’s the added problem that Covid-19 can be spread by touch.

The germs can stay on surfaces, ready to jump onto hands and wait there until the unsuspecting person rubs an eye or bites a fingernail.  No mask protects against that.

But those who say ‘no’, forget a very important point.  Some of us need the  psychological  protection of a mask.   ‘Better safe than sorry’ even if that safety is not 100% guaranteed, at least we’re doing something  apart from singing Happy Birthday over the wash basin.

So if wearing a mask makes you feel safer, wear one, whatever the Authorities say.

Incidentally, it really doesn’t need to be a mask like this:

A recent BBC radio programme advised if you can’t get a mask, scarves can be used. 

Thin, chiffon scarves with two facial tissues folded into them, the tissues positioned over the nose and mouth, is good.

My friend Suze has utilised wipes, drying them and folding into her favourite summer scarf.   

 Try wearing a scarf like hijab, which allows a fold to be placed across nose and mouth.

A neighbour’s grandson wears a balaclava (it’s getting chilly in the mornings now) with only his eyes exposed. He looks like a bank robber.

None of these are absolute guarantees that we will not get Covid-19 but with the other precautions,  they can make us feel we are helping to fight the virus in whatever way we can.

 Jean Baudrillard, French sociologist and philosopher who died in 2007, once said, ‘All society ends up wearing masks.’ 

However did he know?

Day Twenty

If all the world were paper

The Covid Crisis has brought out the worst in some people with  shoppers fighting, actually hand to hand fighting, over toilet rolls.

As far as I know, no one has descended to fisticuffs for fish, or offered violence to get the last pack of spinach or fluffy slippers.

Tissue is always the issue.

When I was a child in Bradford, the lavatory was outside and while Mum allowed us to use the po in the bedroom for early morning wee-wees, anything else meant a cold, often dark and rainy trip down the yard.

There I’d sit, dangling my little legs and screwing up pieces of newspaper to make them soft.

Typically, you had to screw and smooth a square of Telegraph & Argus six times before it achieved the requisite gentleness.

Newspaper was infinitely better than the Bronco tissue we were forced to use at school.

This shiny, rough paper, named after an untamed horse (!) was strangely non-absorbent and had the order NOW WASH YOUR HANDS! Printed on every sheet. 

It was totally unfit for purpose and its advertising slogan, ‘Bronco for the bigger wipe’ only compounded the consumers dislike of it.  

Image courtesy of the Science Museum, London.

In ancient times, depending on where you lived and when, a visit to the loo meant taking leaves, grasses, clay, moss or wood shavings (how on earth did they keep them together?) 

Other wipers included corn and maize cobs,  fruit skins, seashells, stones (ouch)  and for the wealthy English, lace, wool, cloth and, much later,  paper from books and music scores. 

I cringe to think this is why Shakespeare’s plays  were lost.

The Romans used a sponge often soaked in vinegar (or if you were  wealthy, rosewater), attached to a stick.

When I first learned about this, I wondered if this implement,  offered to Jesus on the cross was not in fact to assuage his thirst but as a kind of bizarre insult, the fore-runner of the Abu Ghraib scandal.

In many countries, even today, the left hand is used, which is why some cultures will eat only with the right.  NOW WASH YOUR HANDS!

The first people to use paper were the Chinese, the earliest known toilet paper or 衛生紙 was recorded in AD 589. 

Yan Zhitui (I promise I’m not making that name up) wrote that he dare not use any paper for wiping which contained classical Confucian texts.

During the 14th century, Emperor Hongwu’s family used 720,000 sheets (2ft x 3ft) per year of a special soft and perfumed  paper fabric in their luxurious loo.

Here he is on the throne.

It wasn’t until the 1850’s that that a  New York entrepreneur,  Joseph Gayetty produced the first commercially available sheets as, ‘The greatest necessity of the age!’  

However,  despite being softened by aloe vera, or maybe because of it, they tore into holes when used.

NOW WASH YOUR HANDS!

It would be 20 more years before toilet paper would be produced in perforated rolls and even then the quality of the paper, made from wood chips, was so poor that people often risked splinter in the bottom.  

We’ve come a long way to get to the ultra-soft stuff worth fighting for but stories have emerged recently that thanks to Covid-19,  many of us are still not on a roll but have been reduced to using cloths, newspaper and even junk mail.  Best thing for it.

Day Nineteen

Laughter is the best medicine

 A collection of bizarre and interesting things to brighten your isolation.

A friend and I have been reminiscing, by phone of course, about the old days.

‘Hey, do you remember those things we used to keep in the bathroom, I think they were called toilet rolls?’

Girlfriend: Are you coming over tonight?

Boyfriend: No,  I’m self-isolating

Girlfriend: (in cajoling voice) But Babe, my parents won’t be home

Boyfriend:  Well they should be!!

On Easter Sunday, the huge  statue of Christ the Redeemer which stands 30ft high atop Corcovado Mountain in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil,  was lit up to look like a doctor and the words "Thank you" in several different languages, as a tribute to health workers.

Girl: Dad, why did you call my brother ’Paris’?
Dad: Because your Mum and I were in Paris when he was conceived.

Girl: Oh, I see, thanks for explaining.

Dad: No problem, Corona.


'Don't forget Rapunzel was in isolation for years but still managed to meet the man of her dreams.'

Actor Leslie Phillips tell of a letter he received from a landlady after he’d written  to book a room.

‘Dear Mr Phillips, I have a very nice front and a very nice back and you can have which ever you like. The lavatory is outside but you may use the piano.’

Lego encouraged its enthusiasts to make models and upload their results to the Internet but to their consternation,  saw some of the little Lego people had acquired additions.

Typically, Lego people don’t have what a spokesman called ‘intimate parts’ which is probably why Lego people look more grumpy these days.

To prevent offence, Lego commissioned special software which could detect the naughty bits and alert HQ.

Lego is, astonishingly, also used as prosthetic legs for tortoises.

Brookesia Micra is the smallest chameleon species on earth.  Here it’s seen on a match head.

Trump, the man whose name actually means ‘fart’ (if you come from the North of England you already know this)  is an award winning actor. 

He appeared in ‘Ghosts Can’t do It.’

Neither could he apparently, the award was a Razzie (Golden Raspberry) for Worst Supporting Actor.

It’s very easy to mis-hear things:

What are your intentions?  Can also be, ‘What are urine tensions?’

The Sound of Music, one of the most loved musicals of all time, was banned in China as being ‘capitalist pornography’ - the reason?  The song, ‘The Hills are Alive’ was deemed to be about Maria’s breasts. It obviously gained something in translation.


Jing Mei decided she would like a very special wedding dress when she married fiance Jian in 2014. 
The train would be 3 miles long.
 It  weighed 120lb and took 40 bridesmaid's to hold it.
When questioned by a reported, Jian, a man who clearly started as he meant to go on said, 'It's her day, what she says, goes.' 

It was a Victorian custom and prevailed well into the 1940’s, for fathers to arrange  to have their daughters' teeth extracted prior to marriage.

The teeth were then presented to the groom as a gift.

As tooth hygiene was not particularly good in those days, many people had gum disease and extensive decay by the time they reached marriageable age.

This strange tradition was ostensibly to prevent costly dental treatment later but I’m sure the idea of kissing someone with a mouth full of decaying teeth didn’t appeal either.

I could not discover if the same fate was forced upon the groom.

 

Students at Trinity College, Cambridge were prevented, by an ancient law,  from taking their babies into college.

So the college re-defined babies as cats.

Lord Byron, outraged that Trinity would not allow him to keep a dog in his rooms, carefully perused the documentation - then bought a bear. The rules did not forbid bears. 

  

Doug and Sam, a couple of hunters,  are out in the wilderness when Sam suddenly falls to the ground.

Doug rushes to help him but can see no injuries.

In panic, he rings the emergency services, ‘Help, help, my buddy’s dead, my buddy’s dead!’

The soothing voice at the other end says, ‘First of all sir, be calm.   I need you to make sure your friend is actually dead.’

The operator holds on, hears a shot then Doug says, ‘Okay, now what?’

Day Eighteen:

Is Lockdown more bearable when the weather is warm and sunny, or like today in Waitakere, when rain is being bowled down my road in great clouds, by wild and shouting Antarctic winds? 

The 30 minute walk (if you’ve been lucky enough to take one) , the bike ride or kickabout in the street, is impossible in bad weather.

If you are confined with bored, energetic children, weather which keeps you all indoors can be even more of a challenge than usual. 

Those adults who have previously limited screen time in favour of more worthy pursuits, may now be blessing the fact that their child can get so absorbed in a screen that s/he doesn’t even recognise their own name!

 

There are many things online which can interest children of all age.

YouTube is a positive cornucopia of entertainment and learning.  

Decide what subject you want to explore: animals, plants, crafts, cooking, birds, science, planets, history, maths, music or film and search it. 

There’s something for everyone.

For children who love animals, try searching ‘David Attenborough’; ‘BBC Earth;  ‘Animal programmes’ or ‘National Geographic Kids.’ 

Be aware though,  that some videos can include  ‘nature raw in tooth and claw’  which might not be suitable for younger children.

 

My grandson likes to change the play speed to 2, which makes everything faster and funnier!

Discover Morph:  this wonderful stop-motion  animation has delighted multi-millions of children since 1977 when Peter Lord of Aardman Animations  (now famous for Wallace & Gromit) created him for the Tony Hart programme.

Morph is now a classic and still so popular that when Peter appealed for £75,000 from crowd-funding, to make 12 new episodes,  he gained and surpassed the total in just 9 days.

Here’s a 1-hour animation to introduce you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2omqyZshq30&t=13s

Other subjects to explore which may keep restless children happy include: optical illusions, puzzles, riddles, rebus;  party games, guessing games, quizzes and jokes;  making, composing and playing music and instruments - even from household objects.

Screen time doesn’t have to be mindless.

If the weather in your part of the world means you or your children are finding confinement a challenge, these ideas should springboard you to an interesting day or two.      

Day Seventeen

Are we nearly there yet?

Yesterday, I used the last of the wool with which I knit hats, scarves, slippers and bags. These are donated to a local food bank or sometimes to the Hospice Shop. 

So now, with nothing to do with my hands, I feel useless and irritated with myself.

This is the first day since Lockdown began that I’ve felt totally unmotivated and dull. 

I didn’t shower and dress until after my 10 am breakfast and then, with little impetus to do much else, decided to ring a friend.

During the course of our conversation she asked, 'Do you still take those online courses?'

And there was my answer!  

A few years ago I discovered MOOC - Massive Open Online Courses. 

These are run by universities around the world who offer a whole range of subjects including health, literature, forensics, history, creative arts, law and much, much more.  Best of all, they are completely FREE.

.

The courses are 3- 6 weeks long and allow you to dip in and out whenever you have the time.  You are in total charge and no one minds if you miss a day or 4.  

In addition to information and videos provided by experts, there are comments from other learners, which gives a pleasant and often stimulating interactive discussion.

So  I’m about to sign up again, this time to Artificial Intelligence, a subject which fascinates me as I use AI at home but know little about how it works.

After that I may take The History of Fairy Tales or Forensic Facial recognition or The World of Spies - keeping your secrets safe.  

https://www.futurelearn.com/courses 

 Our physical exercise may be severely restricted but we are still able to keep our brains active.    The world is still our oyster when it comes to learning.

You can also learn a great deal from the hundreds of podcasts online. I'm currently listening to CrowdScience from the BBC.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04d42rc/episodes/downloads


 But the BBC also has podcasts and feeds on pretty much every subject too.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds

Learning online is the one thing Covid-19 has not restricted.

Well, perhaps not the one thing…….